


Pitfall

by Escopeta



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types, Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan, The Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan
Genre: Established Percabeth, I just need more of the Underworld siblings bonding, I love Nico so much like??, M/M, The Perico is one-sided though because I like to make myself suffer, When I figure out more tags for this thing I'll edit this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-14
Updated: 2015-04-14
Packaged: 2018-03-22 20:14:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,023
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3742207
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Escopeta/pseuds/Escopeta
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nico couldn’t stop trembling, and he had to bite his lip to prevent himself from crying. Percy was warm, and Nico could feel the beat of his heart pulsating beneath his skin.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pitfall

“Don’t you dare…! You can’t…!” Nico slung Percy’s arm over his shoulder. The son of Poseidon had a deep wound in his abdomen. The blood soaked through his clothes, and smeared itself onto Nico.  “Jackson, don’t you dare die on me!”

Percy struggled to breathe. He could barely keep his eyes open as Nico dragged him away from the aftermath of the battle. Why hadn’t he seen the monster beforehand? If Nico wasn’t such an idiot, Percy wouldn’t have had to intercept the attack.

The taller boy felt heavier as Nico continued to drag him. His head began to droop. “No, no,” Nico shook his head. “Stay with me Percy, c’mon…!”

“Nico… It’s okay…”

“No it’s not okay!”

“It’s fine… Really…” He smiled weakly at the younger demigod.  “At least Gaea’s gone now… right? …’m tired. Just leave me here… to sleep…” He let go of the smaller boy, and slumped to the ground. Nico knelt beside him, panic on his face. “Percy—!”

“Too much blood… ‘s fine…”

Nico shook his head frantically, trying to stop the bleeding. “No, no I’m not gonna just…” He swallowed a sob. _Please don’t take him, dad. Please don’t… Please don’t take him from me. I’ll do anything, anything!_

“You look exhausted… It’s okay…”

“YOU’RE DYING!” the son of Hades shouted.

“…’s fine… Nico… You’re alive… so… ‘s fine…”

Percy opened his eyes a little, and gave a weak smile. Nico stared at him in horror, feeling helpless as the blood continued to seep through his hands. Percy grabbed his hand, and shakily pushed it away from him. “It’s okay…” he mouthed, unable to speak any further. His face relaxed, and he closed his eyes.

Nico’s breath hitched. There was a throbbing in his ears as he looked upon Percy’s lifeless form in front of him. “…Percy?” he asked in a whisper. “…P-Percy…?” he asked again as his voice cracked.

The other boy didn’t move. Nico shook his head, and tears began to blind his vision. “No, no… You’re not… You can’t…!” His hands trembled as they clenched into fists, the blood slippery between his fingers.

Nico let a piercing scream escape him at the reality in front of him.

Percy Jackson was dead.

And it was all Nico’s fault.

* * *

Nico managed to shadow travel back to the others with Percy’s limp form in his arms. When he reached his destination, he saw Hazel and Frank in the distance, running toward him. He fell to the ground, Percy in front of him.

“Nico, I’m so glad—!” But Hazel stopped when her brother wouldn’t look at her. “…Percy?”

Nico hung his head, and nodded somberly. “I couldn’t… I couldn’t do anything… I’m… I was…”

Hazel covered her mouth with her hands, tears welling up in her eyes. She choked back sobs as the tears fell. Frank caught up to her, and when he saw the siblings’ lament, his face turned grim.

“…Is he…?” he asked Nico quietly.

“…Sorry, I’m so sorry… I should’ve…” was the only reply Frank got from him before Hazel began to openly weep. He hugged her tightly as she clutched his shirt.

Nico didn’t dare look up when he heard more footsteps approaching. He assumed the survivors of the battle were crowding where he sat pathetically. He didn’t look up until he heard Annabeth gasp, and he instantly regretted it.

“PERCY!” she shrieked. She held him in her lap, ignoring the protests from others about the blood. “You idiot… You stupid… Seaweed-brain…” she sobbed as a mass of tears rolled down her face. “You weren’t supposed…” She buried her head in his hair as she sobbed relentlessly.

Nico forced his tears back. He watched the looks the others gave him from beneath his bangs. They were a mix of sorrow and disgust. They blamed him. It was his fault Percy died. If he hadn’t been so reckless, he wouldn’t have jumped in to save him. He snuck a glance at Annabeth. She must’ve felt him staring, because she looked at him, a hint of anger in her stormy eyes. But then she quickly looked away, and buried her face in her boyfriend’s hair again.

 _It’s your fault_ , the voice said. _All your fault. Good for nothing, Nico di Angelo._

* * *

Nico stared at the pit in front of him, and dumped the McDonald’s meal into it. “P-Percy Jackson…” He knew he probably shouldn’t do this. He shouldn’t summon Percy’s spirit. But he was weak, so so weak. And he hated himself for it.

Percy’s ghost appeared in front of him. He glanced around him awkwardly, but stopped when he saw Nico. “Hey, Nico.”

“Percy.”

“So, if you’re here, I guess this means I really am dead, huh? Funny. I never—well with the whole Gaea business, I never thought I’d _actually_ die. Always assumed it’d be from old age or something.”

“Of _course_ you’d think like that,” Nico said. “Real shocker.”

They said nothing for a few moments. Percy floated in front of the smaller boy. “Thanks by the way, for bringing my body back to them. Er… so how is everyone doing?” he asked at last.

“It’s been two days. How do you _think_ they’re doing?” Nico looked at the ground, his expression hidden from Percy’s view.

But the other boy noticed when Nico slumped his shoulders, because he said, “Hey, it’s not your fault.”

“Yes it is. Everyone blames me for your death. You didn’t have to do that you know.” The hands at his sides clenched into fists. He looked up at Percy. “You didn’t have to save me.”

“But I wanted to—”

“ _Why?!_ ” he almost shrieked. “You should’ve let me go! You should’ve let me take your place! Even until the very end, you still have to be the big fucking _hero_ , don’t you Jackson?! Nobody would mourn the son of Hades!”

“Nico, that’s not tr—”

“But you, the son of Poseidon, everyone _cares_ that you’re gone!”

Percy looked at him sympathetically. “I couldn’t let you die. After what happened with Bianca, I just couldn’t let that happen to another di Angelo. I know you hated me… for everything that happened, for asking you to keep promises that were hard to keep, for the way I treated you. And I’m sorry…”

Nico looked at him in shock, until his face contorted with anger. “I told you before! It was wrong of me to ask that of you! And yeah, I don’t hate you, but I probably should have! I should’ve hated you for everything that you put me through! But I just—I couldn’t! Even after Bianca and everything else… I only ended up hating myself.”

“Oh, well…” Percy laughed nervously. “I thought you always hated me. For your sister’s death, and for Annabeth…”

“ _What?_ ”

“Yeah, y’know, because I asked you to take the others to the Doors of Death. And you worked so hard to get everyone there, to bring Annabeth back—”

“I didn’t do it for Annabeth.”

“You… didn’t?” Percy looked at Nico in surprise. “But I thought—well everyone thought that you… had a crush on her? I mean I thought because of it, you hated me—”

“I don’t have a crush on her, and I never did.”

“Then…?”

“I didn’t do any of it for her. I took everyone there because _you_ asked me to, not Annabeth. I did it for you, Percy. I don’t hate you, alright? Why would anybody risk their life like that for a person they hate?”

“Er, I’m a little confused?”

“Oh, my gods. How dense—?!” Nico tugged at his hair in frustration. “What’s the opposite of _hate_ , Jackson?!”

Percy brought a hand to his chin as he looked up pensively. Nico gesticulated angrily as he waited, completely at a loss for words. “…Love?” asked Percy.

“I don’t know, _is it?!_ ” he growled sarcastically.

“But if that’s true, then that means… this whole time you…?” His eyes widened. “With me?” he asked as he pointed at himself.

“Right.”

“So then that would mean you’re… in love…? With…?”

“Yep.”

“…Then you really are? Y’know…?”

“I swear sometimes you’re just so— _yes_ , Percy!”

Percy blinked at him. His expression fell into one of sympathy again. “Oh.”

Nico grit his teeth. “After all of that, I just get a measly, ‘ _oh_ ’?” he scoffed. He smiled bitterly as he shook his head in astonishment.

“I’m sorry Nico.”

“Yeah, me too.”

“Seriously. I really… am sorry Nico. But it’s not like anything’s gonna change since, y’know, I’m dead. Ah ha…” Percy’s spirit began to flicker. Nico glared at him for another moment, before he huffed through his nose. “So what I’m gonna ask is this,” Nico began. “Will you choose Elysium, or rebirth?”

“Saving the best questions for last huh?” Percy rubbed the back of his neck. “Well, y’know, I never considered myself a hero. I just wanted to be with you all, to enjoy my time with everyone, to protect them when they needed help. Besides, I can’t get reborn. Not if it means leaving Annabeth behind forever.”

“Of fucking course. I should’ve known. She still comes first, even though you’re the one who’s dead. That’s just like you Percy.”

“Yeah, ah ha… That’s me.” His spirit started to break up.

“You should’ve just let me go. You should’ve let them kill me. If you really cared about her happiness, you would’ve done it.”

“Nico, I couldn’t just stand by and—!”

“Well you should have! How many times do I have to repeat myself?! Nobody would mourn if I died!”

“Nico—!”

“Yeah maybe for a few days, probably out of obligation more than anything else, but then they’d get over it! But you… Nobody just gets over Percy Jackson, okay?! There’s no moving on from you!”

Percy looked at him in shock. “I’m sorry, for everything,” he said softly. “I should’ve made more of an effort to be your friend. I still feel responsible—”

“Percy, don’t… Just… please, shut up.”

His expression turned neutral. “Yeah, okay.”

Nico was silent for a minute. “Any last requests?” he asked finally, as Percy’s spirit flickered. “I can’t hold you here much longer, you know.”

“Uhm… oh! Tell everyone my funeral better not suck! And I know funerals have a black color scheme, but throw some blue in there.” He chuckled slightly. “Tell my mom and Annabeth that I’m sorry…” he said a bit sadly. “And that I love them, more than I could ever express when I was still alive…”

Nico was silent for a moment as he hung his head. “Okay, I’ll tell them.”

Percy was almost completely transparent. “And Nico?”

The demigod looked up at the other. “What?”

“I don’t regret saving you. I did it because I wanted to, and I’d do it again if it came down to it.” Percy grinned at him. “I fought hard to keep you safe. Don’t you dare waste your second chance, alright?”

The other boy’s expression softened. Percy smiled tenderly and said, “Guess this is good bye. I’ll see you around, Nico di Angelo.” And with that, his spirit faded.

Nico stood dumbly in place, and looked at the empty space in front of him. He outstretched a hand, and clenched it. The pit snapped shut. His bangs fell into his eyes as he stared at the ground. His lip began to quiver, and he gritted his teeth as tears slipped down his cheeks. He covered his face with the back of his arm, and wept.

* * *

When he got back to the camp, he grudgingly walked along the grounds to find Annabeth. It had been two days since he saw her. He ignored the whispers and stares the other campers gave him. He didn’t need to see their faces to know what they were thinking.

Annabeth had her back to him as she focused on a paper in her hand. Nico rubbed his arm out of nervousness as he approached her. He noticed she tensed when she heard the grass crunch beneath his feet. He glanced at her guilty.

“Do you blame me?” he asked. His voice barely passed for a whisper.

“For what?” she asked in response, not bothering to look up from the paper.

“For his death. You haven’t looked me in the eye since…”

“That’s a stupid question. And I’m busy with the funeral arrangements, so I can’t talk right now.” He flinched slightly at her response. “Besides,” she continued. “Blaming you won’t bring him back.”

Nico bit his lip. “Do you wish… that would’ve been me, instead?”

“That wouldn’t accomplish anything.” She paused. “And Hazel would miss you.”

He remained silent for a brief moment. Annabeth mumbled something as she read the paper, though if she was actually reading it, Nico couldn’t tell.

“I spoke to him.”

“You did.” It was more of a statement than a question.

“He said he chooses Elysium. And he also said… to tell his mother that he’s sorry.” Nico couldn’t go through with telling Sally about her son’s passing. He didn’t want to see yet another face glare at him with raw hatred. “He also said to tell her that he loves her. And… to tell you that he loves you too. He loves you more than he could ever show when he was alive.”

Annabeth said nothing.

“He chose Elysium, because he said if he chose rebirth, then he’d lose you forever.”

Tears formed at the corners of Annabeth’s eyes. She swallowed hard, and then in a shaky voice said, “That Seaweed-brain… He’s…” She shook her head slowly. “He’s impossible…” The blonde mumbled something else, but Nico couldn’t hear what she said.

He began to walk away when Annabeth said, “Thank you.” But she didn’t turn around to look at Nico. She gave a heavy sigh, and then continued examining the paper in front of her.

Nico walked away, his hands in his pockets. Annabeth didn’t blame him, but it was difficult to believe her. Percy didn’t think much of his confession, but it was probably better that way. He would’ve never had a chance, even if he confessed while he was still alive. He was too in love with Annabeth, even after he died. It was a beautiful thing in a way. And it was a thing Nico would never experience.

 _Blaming you won’t bring him back._ Annabeth’s words rung in his ears. Then, an idea hit Nico. “Of course,” he said softly to himself. “To reclaim a soul that’s passed on to the Underworld, a soul that cheated death must be given in exchange…” He began to walk faster.

 _Me_ , he thought.

Nico bumped into Jason, but didn’t stop walking. In fact he picked up his pace until he came into a run. If the blonde had said something to him, he didn’t hear it. There was only one goal in his sights now.

 _I’m going to fix this_.

* * *

Nico stood in the shadows, watching as Percy appeared before the other campers. Everyone was hysterical, and Annabeth punched him hard in the face. Percy stumbled and fell, and watched Annabeth as she yelled at him. Then she knelt down and hugged him, sobbing into his shoulder. He hugged her back tightly, whispering something into her ear.

And in that moment, everyone looked up to the sky to see a flying metal dragon descending. It landed just before the crowd, and Leo stood on top of it with his arms outstretched dramatically. He proclaimed his presence loudly, and everyone went into shock yet again. Leo helped Calypso dismount from Festus, and then Piper ran toward Leo and hugged him. Jason laughed and shook his head, bringing both of them into a big hug. Percy looked over at him in shock, and no doubt was more surprised about his arrival than the fact that he died just days before. Hazel cried happily for both of them, and Frank looked like he was about to faint. Reyna only smiled. Many of the other campers wept with relief and began to bombard them both with questions.

Nico smiled a little at the scene before him. Then his form began to flicker. He knew his time was almost up, and the choice was permanent.

Percy brought Jason to the side and asked him something. The blonde glanced around and shook his head, looking just as confused as Percy. But then, as if realization struck him, the son of Poseidon began to panic. Jason tried to get him to calm down, but Percy grabbed his shirt and spoke wildly.

Jason’s expression matched Percy’s, and then the two ran off, ignoring the questions from the others. Nico took a wild guess as to what they were talking about. They were probably headed to his cabin.

He sighed, and walked toward a shadow. He’d miss Hazel, and Reyna. And he’d miss Jason too. But they all had somebody to love and go to. Nobody would notice he was gone. They’d all think he’d just return to the Underworld.

 _It’s better this way_ , he thought.

“Nico!”

He turned to glance behind his shoulder. Percy looked around him until he spotted the faint image of Nico in the shadows. “Nico, wait—!”

“It’s okay, Percy.”

“I didn’t ask you to do this!” he shouted as he approached. When he tried to reach out to him, Nico stepped back, holding up a hand. “You can’t decide these kinds of things for me di Angelo!”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about—”

“That’s crap! Nico, did you think I’d never wonder how I came back to life? Especially after you spoke to me?! Sure I’m oblivious, probably—but I’m not stupid! It wasn’t hard to put two and two together!”

Nico was hesitant to respond. “What did I tell you?” He gestured to the crowd beyond them that was slowly dissolving. “Everyone mourned your loss, and even that of Leo’s. And when you came back, everyone rejoiced and cried. But nobody even noticed I wasn’t there, so I doubt they’d give a damn when I’m gone.”

“It’s not _fair_ to you!”

“Well this is what _I_ want Percy, okay?!” he yelled. “Annabeth is happy now! You’re back with her, and all of your friends!”

“So you’re just gonna leave Hazel here alone?! She’s your sister!”

“I love her, but she has Frank.”

“And Reyna?!”

“She’s a strong person, and she has her own sister as well as other friends.”

“Jason?!”

“He has Piper and Thalia, and now that Valdez is back, he has him too.”

“And you didn’t stop to think…” Percy clenched his fists at his sides. “…about how I would feel?!”

Nico’s eyes widened, but his face was that of sheer anger. “I ALWAYS think about how you’d feel! After the very first day I met you, I always…! So don’t you _dare_ try to lecture me about this, Jackson!”

Percy shook his head in defiance. “No, Nico you can’t do this—!”

“It’s too late. I’ve already made my choice. And I can’t reverse it. Besides, my death is long overdue. Decades overdue, actually.” His form flickered again.

Percy looked at him in horror at his words. He opened his mouth to say something, but it just looked like a fish flapping its lips to Nico.

“I need to get going. If they ever ask… tell them whatever you want. The truth, or a lie, I don’t care anymore.” He stepped backward into the darkest part of the shadow. “Or, alternatively, tell Hazel I’m sorry, and that I love her. And tell Reyna and Jason thank you, for everything. Their friendship really meant a lot to me.”

“Just… why? Why did you do this?” Percy asked desperately.

Nico looked at him calmly. “Isn’t it obvious?” He swallowed hard. He needed to make his final words count. He was spending an eternity away from everyone, and he needed to make peace with himself before that happened. And despite himself, he smiled sadly.

“It’s because I love you, Percy Jackson.”

His form faded into the shadows. And if Percy said anything in return, Nico didn’t hear it.

* * *

He was in Tartarus, running for his life. Nico struggled to carry his sword, and he had an open wound on his other arm. It wouldn’t stop bleeding, and he was too far away from the river to drink the fire. His bangs stuck to his face with sweat.

The horrors plagued him once again, and he breathed in labored pants. They called his name hungrily, trying to get him to give up. But he couldn’t. He needed to do this for Percy. Percy needed his help. Percy was counting on him.

But images of his friends—no, allies—flashed before him. They laughed, and ate, and conversed. The couples affectionately embraced each other, sharing tender kisses between them. Nico was nowhere to be seen, and nobody asked. His cabin disappeared in front of all the campers, and nobody batted an eyelash. They didn’t notice, and resumed with their daily lives. Nico continued running, tears falling down his cheeks.

“ _They won’t miss you._ ”

“ _Nobody mourns for a child of Hades._ ”

“ _There’s the creepy di Angelo kid again._ ”

“ _Gods, why is he even here? We were better off without a Hades cabin._ ”

“ _You should’ve died instead of Bianca._ ”

_“It's your fault she's dead. If only you weren't such a burden.”_

_“You’re dead weight.”_

“ _They only tolerate you out of obligation._ ”

“ _Hazel is a better child than you. She’s everything you’ll never be.”_

“ _Jason’s only your friend out of pity. He doesn’t really care._ ”

“ _Reyna only protected you because you were useful. She doesn’t care either._ ”

“ _Percy will never love a wretch like you._ ”

“ _You’re so pathetic._ ”

“ _You were a mistake._ ”

“ _Please, just die already._ ”

 _No, it’s not true!_ he thought desperately. _No, those things… that’s not true…! I’m not—! I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. I’m sorry, Bianca! Dad! Hazel! Jason! Reyna! PERCY!_

The floor opened up below him, and he fell into the pitch-black abyss. He flailed as he fell, watching his tears float above him in small drops. The shadows grasped at his clothes, sinking their claws into his skin, tearing open new wounds. They strangled him until it was hard to breathe. And he only continued to fall, and fall… and fall… and fall…

…

…Nico screamed and opened his eyes.

He sat up quickly, and took notice of his surroundings. He was in his cabin. It was still there. His whole body was covered in sweat, and his chest rose and fell in panicked breaths. He stumbled through the sheets that tangled his feet as he attempted to get up.

But then he slipped, and after hitting his head on the floor, he noticed the ice. His whole cabin was lightly frosted. He made a quick effort to stand, but then he slipped again. Hurriedly he put on his shoes, and walked toward the door, holding onto the walls for support.

He struggled to get the door open, but when he did, he ran outside. The summer evening air swept across his face. Other campers looked at him strangely. Some of the younger ones looked at him with slight terror and unease.

“Nico? What’s wrong? You don’t look so good!” Hazel called his name, and then Frank, but he continued running.

“Yo, di Angelo—hey what’s the rush?” asked a confused Leo as he brushed past him.

“Oh, hey Nico,” Piper greeted. Reyna was beside her, and tried to greet him as well but Nico ignored them, and continued running.

“Ah, Nico! I was just going to get you,” Jason said when he spotted him. “It’s almost time for dinner, and since this is the last day of Camp Jupiter’s usual vis—” But he didn’t stop, even when he bumped into his shoulder.

 _Where is he? Where is he?!_ he thought frantically. _No he’s not…! No he has to be alive! It was just a nightmare! Please…!_

Then he saw him.

Percy was standing near some other campers, speaking to them animatedly. Annabeth was beside him, shaking her head incredulously. Nico sprinted toward him, and without thinking—

“Oh, hey Nico! It’s nice to see—”

—hugged Percy tightly, burying his face into him. The top of his head barely reached Percy’s shoulder. He clutched the back of his shirt with his hands. Nico couldn’t stop trembling, and he had to bite his lip to prevent himself from crying. Percy was warm, and Nico could feel the beat of his heart pulsating beneath his skin.

“Uh…”

It got uncomfortably silent, with only murmurs from other campers.

“Hey is… everything okay?” Percy asked, his arms stationary in the space between him and Nico. “If you really wanted a hug, you could’ve just asked…?”

It suddenly dawned on Nico what he was doing. He pulled his face away and looked up at the son of Poseidon. Percy gave him a confused stare, and then he smiled awkwardly. “Is everything… okay? You don’t look so good.”

Nico jerked himself away from Percy. He saw the other campers give him curious looks, even from his sister and friends. Hazel approached him slowly. “Nico, did something happen?” He didn’t move, so she came closer. She put a hand to his forehead. “Nico, you’re so clammy!”

At first he couldn’t completely register the situation. Hazel cupped his face with her hands. “What’s wrong big brother? Please, you’re starting to worry me.”

He wouldn’t cry, not here, not in front of everyone. He gently removed her hands from his face, and eased backward into the shadows. The other campers looked at him, some in concern, others in bewilderment. And then of course were the stares from people who were scared; they probably thought he was going to create another fissure in the ground.

As if it couldn’t get any worse, the grass around him began to brown. It spread around the other campers’ feet. Some jumped in fright and others looked at it with concern. His heart was beating loudly in his ears. And then he shadow-traveled back to his cabin as Hazel shouted his name.

Though he tried to concentrate, he only shadow-traveled just outside his door. He struggled with the knob, trying to get it open, but the exterior began to freeze. Grass crunched behind him, and he jolted when a hand was placed on his arm.

“Nico…?” Hazel asked with worried eyes. “Please, tell me what’s wrong.” She sounded like she might cry. Then she looked at the frost on the doorknob. “Nico… Nico!”

He let go, and allowed himself to breathe. It was slow, heavy breaths at first. His hands trembled at his sides. Hazel dusted the frost away from the doorknob, and then slowly opened the door. She gasped slightly when she saw the ice inside. “Nico… What happened?”

The demigod walked inside their cabin slowly. Hazel followed him, and closed the door behind her. “Gods, it’s frozen in here,” she whispered. She looked to Nico, worry creasing her face. “Was it Tartarus?”

His responded with a sob, and covered his face with his hand. Hazel immediately wrapped her arms around him, rubbing his back. “I’m here, I’m here,” she said softly. “I’m here Nico…” She managed to usher him to his bed.

Nico sat down, and Hazel joined him. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“No,” he said in a hoarse voice. “I don’t—not right now…”

She hugged him again, rubbing circles in his back with her hand. Nico returned the embrace, and buried his face into her neck. He cried silently, holding his sister closer. She ran her fingers through his hair, and massaged his scalp.

They remained that way for a while. Then Nico let go of his sister, and said, “I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

“Back there… for what happened…”

“Nico.” She grabbed both his hands and held them between hers. “You have nothing to apologize for. You had a nightmare. I can’t even begin to imagine what it was like to experience it first-hand.”

He said nothing, so she asked, “Do you want to lie down?”

“No… I don’t want to go to sleep. You should… You should go eat. They’re all probably at dinner—”

“I’m not leaving you alone,” Hazel said stubbornly.

“…You should eat.”

“Not if it means I have to leave you.”

“Hazel…”

She huffed. “Fine, I’ll go get something, but I’m coming right back. I’m not going to just watch you suffer.” She cupped one side of his face with her hand. “You’re my brother, and I love you very much. Okay?”

He nodded weakly.

Nico didn’t have to wait long for Hazel to return, though. He heard some others telling her to go eat from outside the cabin, but she responded angrily with something about family. Then she bid them all a good night. Hazel returned with a tray of food, and sat back down on the bed.

“I brought you some things too.”

“You didn’t have to.”

“Nico, you need to eat, even if it’s just fruit. Look, I got you some grapes. I’m not… gonna shove them down your throat but… even just a nibble…” She began to pluck them slowly. Then she held out her hands, the grapes nestled between them.

Her brother reached for one, and ate it slowly. Then another, and another, until all the grapes in her hands were gone. When Nico did nothing but stare at the ground, Hazel sighed softly, and then began to eat her own portions. She watched tentatively as Nico reached for a slice of bread. Hazel smiled a little when he bit into it.

The Underworld siblings ate in silence. The frost on the walls and floor had melted at this point, leaving everything slightly damp. Hazel placed the tray on a vacant bed.

“He died, in the nightmare,” Nico said at last. He laid on his bed and hugged the pillow.

“Who?”

“Percy.”

Hazel sat next to him, stroking his hair. She said nothing.

“It was my fault. I didn’t see the attack coming, and he jumped in to save me…” He recounted the events from the nightmare, but left out the part about his confession.

“Oh Nico…” Hazel sounded like she wanted to cry. But through the dim lighting, Nico couldn’t tell.

“I feel like an idiot…”

“No, you’re not an idiot.”

Should he tell her? It was probably best. It would help her understand why it bothered him so much. But would she still accept him? _No, I have to_ , he thought. _I need to stop… stop being such a coward._ He bit his lip.

“Hazel?”

“Yes?”

Nico sat up, but he didn’t speak right away. “There’s something I need to tell you…”

“What is it?” She looked at him worriedly again.

“I… This whole time… I mean it’s about Percy… And I just hate myself because I’m— _we_ are from a time that… It’s better now but still…”

“Yes?”

He took a shaky breath. Nico looked at her and then down at his hands. “Hazel, I’m gay.”

Nico was afraid to look at her. She didn’t move from her spot, and he worried when she didn’t respond right away. When he finally gathered the courage, he looked up at her guiltily. To his surprise, Hazel appeared calm. She grabbed his hands between hers, and gently squeezed them.

“That’s why… the nightmare was so terrible for you…”

“Yes.”

“You love Percy.”

“I tried so hard… to hate him. But I couldn’t help it.”

“How long have you known that… y’know, you liked fellas?”

“Not until Percy, honestly.” He hoped his face wasn’t red. “When I first saw him, it was like Mythomagic came to life. I thought he was so cool, and everything he did afterward… even after he told me about Bianca—and I tried to hate him. I tried to hate him so, so hard. But I couldn’t. I can’t help it. I thought I moved on but… I guess my nightmare was right about one thing. You just don’t move on from somebody like him.”

Hazel bit the inside of her cheek, and glanced to the side. Then she looked back at her brother. “Who else knows?”

“The first to find out was Jason, and then Reyna.”

Hazel’s shoulders sagged, and she breathed out a quiet, “Oh.” Her brother looked at her worriedly, so she continued quickly. “Well I mean, this is a big thing Nico, and I thought I’d be the first person you’d tell, you know?” When he didn’t say anything, she continued. “So, how did you tell Jason and Reyna?”

“That’s the thing. I didn’t… tell them.”

Hazel raised an eyebrow. “You didn’t? But…”

“The first time with Jason, it was Cupid’s fault. I got anxious when that bastard was trying to force a confession out of me for the scepter. And everything just… exploded. All the things that I felt, Jason felt them too when that happened. Then I confessed, and we got the scepter. But he kept his word, and he hasn’t told a single soul about it. For that, I’m grateful.”

Hazel looked at him sadly, but said nothing.

“And with Reyna… let’s just say something similar happened with another scum. When we were transporting the Athena Parthenos, I got so angry that everything exploded again… and she felt the same rush as Jason did. But she kept my secret, and hasn’t told anyone either. I can’t even begin to explain how much I appreciate that they’re doing this for me.”

“Gods, that’s so awful for them to find out like that…!”

“Yeah well, now they know. I can’t do anything about it, but I’m happy they’ve kept the secret.”

“Well I hope you know I won’t say anything either. You can trust me.”

He ducked his head as he peeked through his bangs. He looked a little surprised. “You’re not… angry?”

“What? Why would I be angry?”

“I thought… I thought you’d be disgusted—”

“Nico, I’m not gonna be disgusted with my own brother! You can’t… you can’t help who you love.”

“But—”

“I know. We both come from a different time. But…” She brushed some bangs away from his eyes. “I’ve spent… a while now here in the modern world… and though some things still make me blush… this, what you feel for Percy, I understand. I wouldn’t do that to family.” She kissed his cheek. “And even if you weren’t my only family, I still wouldn’t look at you any different.”

Silent tears slipped from his eyes, and she brushed them away with her thumbs. “You’ve suffered through so much Nico. But I want you to know that I’m here for you. I’ll always be here. And if anybody messes with you, they’re gonna have hell to pay, literally.” She chuckled.

Nico hugged her tightly, her fluffy hair clouding his face. “I love you so much.”

“I love you too,” she whispered. “I have a wonderful big brother. I’ll always love you.”

He smiled, and cried silently. Hazel rubbed his back again as she rested her head on his shoulder. After he calmed down, she asked, “…Do you think you’ll ever tell him?”

“I don’t know.” He sniffed the remaining tears away. “Maybe. I’d like to think if I do, it’ll help me move on. But everything’s always easier said than done, huh?”

“Well, whatever you decide, I’ll be right here to support you. Or bust some heads if things go sour.”

Nico laughed softly. “Thank you Hazel.”

“Do you feel better now?”

“More or less. But you should get some sleep—”

“Nuh-uh. If I’m gonna sleep, it’s gonna be beside my big brother. Or, well technically I was born before you, so you’re also my little brother.”

He smiled. “Let’s just keep it the way it was.”

Hazel grinned teasingly at him. “You just want to be the big brother around Frank, don’t you?”

“Can you blame me?”

She giggled in response.

Hazel distracted Nico with stories from Camp Jupiter, ones that he didn’t get to hear before. And pretty soon, he drifted off to sleep with a calm expression on his face. She kissed his cheek, and pulled the blanket over him.

“Sweet dreams, Nico.”

**Author's Note:**

> First and foremost, I would like to thank my beta Serketchaos. Thank you for being patient with me. -weeps-
> 
> So, like I said in the summary, this was inspired by some fanart on Tumblr that viria and minuiko did. It left me completely wrecked. :^))) I tried not to use too much of their original dialogue because I felt like it was cheating. (Keyword: TRIED). So I either added some things or removed them. With that being said, I can't take full credit for this work. Er, so yeah most of this goes to them and their wonderfully tragic collab that made me wish I could hurl myself into the sun. I don't have the links to the works, unfortunately.
> 
> I wanted to write this because I really love Nico as a character. He's interesting, and I'm sad we didn't get to see more of his POV in the books. But I wanted to try my hand at writing him and all his conflicting emotions. So, I hope I didn't make him OOC, or anyone else for that matter. I missed the series hype and joined the love suuuuper late, so... yeah. orz;;; This one-shot is actually part of a larger work I hope to publish at some point. But I thought that it could (mostly) make sense as a stand-alone thing, so voilà. Also, I just... I was so sad when Nico didn't come out to Hazel in canon... so, yeah.
> 
> I live for unrequited love. One-sided Perico. It hurts so good. (Please shoot me in the foot.)
> 
> If I ever do publish the larger work, it will explore Nico's relationships: Hazel, Jason, Reyna, and Percy. Although, admittedly, a good number of them will be inspired by fanart because I don't actually have a solid plot. Yet. It will mostly be from their POVs, Nico being the star of course. And because I'm shipper trash, I'll write some more Perico in there, and the obligatory Jasico OTP. (I blame minuiko for that... All that sweet and cute Jasico fanart...) 
> 
> Yeah. My first PJO+HOO fanfic. I'm gonna torture myself with this endeavor. :')


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